Fly on a hot light-bulb. / Cat on a hot tin roof.

I'm sitting in my living room. I can see a fly flying around the lamp. I wish i was amused that easily. Come to think of it.. STUPID FLY'S! what a waste of the ability to fly! If i could fly, i would'nt be silly enough to put it to use by throwing myself into a hot lightbulb repeatedly. That's just silly. Go away fly. you stink.

Moving!

Sitting in my empty bedroom. My last night in this house. It's hard to accept that the only evidence that i was ever here is the art on the walls, soon to be painted over with a neutral tone. It will have fresh wall paper lacquered to the walls, further burying the hours of art I painted by hand onto them. The walls that were once mine. The walls that were once the framework of my own little amityville, my own little sanctuary where the rules didn't apply. My sanctuary will be fitted with new shelves, a new bed with matching wardrobes, bedside tables and lamps and most frightiningly, it will be fitted with a new teenager to make of it what he or she will..
It's odd, moving house. Over time, our residence becomes much, much more than a place to reside.
Over the past few days, Pembrokeshire has unlocked some of it's secrets to me which are drawing me closer to myself and my roots from not only this existence. Wherever I go, and for however long I leave for.. Pembrokeshire will be my HOME, in every sense of the word! When i come home i will have my true family waiting for me with open arms. I used to think that Pembrokeshire was a prison, the end of the line, a place to get away from. - I couldn't have been more wrong. For a person like me, this is the place to be. I feel at peace. At last.

It's time to fall asleep for the last time in this house. It's sad saying goodbye but, ultimately it is the birth of a new era not only the death of an old one.

I have nothing to tell you.

This sentence starts in a capital letter and ends in a full stop.

I DON'T NEED TO KNOW!!!!

I don't need to know why the oceans blue or how the flowers grow. I don't kneed to live waiting on someone to forgive me for my sins! I don't need to believe in something that won't save my sanity! I DON'T NEED TO KNOW! I don't want to live in a world where the faces change from day to day. I don't want my life to be, so full of doubt and misery. The years now pass without a trace, it's something I'm learning to embrace. Most of my nights are spent awake, thinking about how I don't want to live this way! I don't know but I have been told that if you don't believe then the devil owns your soul. If this is the truth, then to hell I will go, because I don't need to know!

I am a hamster.

I seem to be nocturnal. I sleep all day, and then am awake all night. I often find myself trying to bust this odd sleep pattern by staying awake all night and all day, and then sleeping at normal time that night.. however.. that isn't working either!!

ARGH. The only other conclusion I have managed to reach is that I am in fact a hamster, not a human.

Well well well, what's all this then?

BLAHHHHHH!

Determined to post everyday, so I shall!

You know that feeling? The one where you've just woken up. You've clearly overslept, you look at your watch expecting the hands to point to about twelve thirty, but in actual fact they point to about half past three? Another day down the drain.
I did this today and it left me thinking, how many days do I have to waste? When people are terminally ill, family members beg and pray for just one more day with their loved one.. Do we really only value time when it's the only thing by which the life and loss of a substantial other hangs? Did we value time as much when we were all at home, and slept all day when we could be doing something much more worthwhile?

Today I feel determined, and enthused to make as much of this life as possible.


Enny.

UGH.

I have always wanted to title a blog post 'Ugh'. - Everyone seems to have one. :)

I do feel pretty UGH right now. I have tonsillitis, which admittedly has its perks. Being waited on hand and foot being one of them. :) But overall it's not so hot, and nor am I whilst in the throes of it (except of course in the literal sense of a raging temperature!) I'm off school and right now i NEED to be there more than ever! Ah well. I have more time to write my blog. Which i LOVE doing. Mainly because nobody i know, knows about it. I can say whatever I feel. :)

Enny.

I opened the door to the postman in my Pyjamas!

The door-bell rang. UGH. I rolled over (almost off the edge of my bed), slid my feet out onto the cold floor and plodded out of my bedroom. I saw the unwelcome sheen of yellow florescent jacket through the frosted glass door-pane and I made that 'UGH' noise again. It had already been five minutes since he fist rang the doorbell, the pressure was building! There was a fine line between him waiting for me to pluck up the courage to open the door in my pyjamas and bed-head, and the orange slip which smugly announces 'we called, but you were out'. To be fair, he had been there for going on seven minutes or so now, most postmen in the country would have probably skipped off to their next address, not this guy, he was either psychic and new I was in my pyjamas and was looking for a chuckle to brighten his morning, or .. no wait. There isn't another possible explanation! He knew I was standing there! (this had nothing to do with me walking past a big window, which just happened to be transparent). I finally decided not to let him beat me! I had to be quick about it, the fine line between the opening of the door and the smug slip sliding through the letter box was now almost invisible. I strode pretty quickly up to the door, placed my palm on the cold brass door handle and plunged it down, the door opened. - Look up, Jenny! Look up! (I was still looking at my feet). I tried saying hello but my voice appeared to still be asleep. I looked at his face, he was a burly, friendly looking man. He passed me he little touch-screen 'sign here' machine and said "sign here" in his friendly tone. He also muttered something about how it was about time I got up, I stifled a very obviously fake chuckle, but due to the snoozing voice-box I appeared to have just made a noise. I felt myself turn red. The postman handed me a pink box addressed to my mother. He said goodbye and I nodded (I wasn't risking further embarrassment) I shut the door and walked through to the kitchen to dump the parcel so I could head back to bed. I walked into the kitchen where an excited Labrador puppy jumped on me. - I said that as if some strange dog was in my kitchen. (This would be far more exciting) However this dog is named Barney and had been in my house since Christmas.
Realising that I didn't feel tired any more. I glanced around the kitchen. Everything was pretty quiet. I made a cup of tea and headed for the living room to reflect on my ordeal (and to watch some American television. BLISS). The dog had somehow moved his crate in front of the living room door, so with one hand occupied with tea, I wasn't going to risk scalding myself. I kicked the crate over a little and opened the lounge door, walked in the room and noticed my step-dad sitting with a cuppa' watching the rugby. OH GOD! "The post-man just came, I signed for a parcel" i said.
"Oh, i did't hear the door." He replied.



Enny.

Social Acceptability

Are we all falling into a pattern of social acceptability? The majority of people born into this world in the last twenty years went to school, then college or sixth form and then university and then set up business or gotten full time jobs. - WHY do we do this? Has it become a trend of lifestyle over the years? More importantly, WHY don't we ever ask WHY!? People seem to be accepting the facts that are presented so plainly in front of them that they aren't noticed! Much like looking for the jam in the fridge, you can't find it, but the next person who opens the fridge see's it straight away! It's rather sad, I suppose. To suggest that we will fall into deeper patterns and in the future nothing will be questioned and a very dismal existence will be accepted! It's all rather unfortunate really...

Facebook Friends?

Friends? According to wikipedia, friendship is the cooperative and supportive relationship. In this sense, the term relates a relationship which involves mutual knowledge, esteem, affection and respect. Friends will welcome each other's company and exhibit loyalty towards each other.

Hmm?

Then is it right for our contact list's on facebook to be titled 'friends'? Or is there definition between those you call 'facebook friends' and your actual friends? If so, does everyone recognise this definition? What we perceive as another 'facebook friend' others could see as a definite connection and I think all will agree that this isn't a good situation to be in. Also, ask yourself, do you think twice about clicking 'add as friend'? or 'accept' on a 'friend request'?! Are these so called 'friends' merely a status symbol of social standing? The idea of a 'friend REQUEST', however, to me is more absurd than any of the aforementioned. - In the coming years, in the age of the 'virtual revolution' will forming new friendships be as simple as the click of a button? Will we no longer need to rely on the ability to communicate?

Ask yourself this question: How many 'facebook friends' could I remove the online connection with via facebook and not notice the difference?

(Personally, I could remove probably just shy of a hundred connections. All people that I don't know in the real world. )

Emily Ego