Fly on a hot light-bulb. / Cat on a hot tin roof.

I'm sitting in my living room. I can see a fly flying around the lamp. I wish i was amused that easily. Come to think of it.. STUPID FLY'S! what a waste of the ability to fly! If i could fly, i would'nt be silly enough to put it to use by throwing myself into a hot lightbulb repeatedly. That's just silly. Go away fly. you stink.

Moving!

Sitting in my empty bedroom. My last night in this house. It's hard to accept that the only evidence that i was ever here is the art on the walls, soon to be painted over with a neutral tone. It will have fresh wall paper lacquered to the walls, further burying the hours of art I painted by hand onto them. The walls that were once mine. The walls that were once the framework of my own little amityville, my own little sanctuary where the rules didn't apply. My sanctuary will be fitted with new shelves, a new bed with matching wardrobes, bedside tables and lamps and most frightiningly, it will be fitted with a new teenager to make of it what he or she will..
It's odd, moving house. Over time, our residence becomes much, much more than a place to reside.
Over the past few days, Pembrokeshire has unlocked some of it's secrets to me which are drawing me closer to myself and my roots from not only this existence. Wherever I go, and for however long I leave for.. Pembrokeshire will be my HOME, in every sense of the word! When i come home i will have my true family waiting for me with open arms. I used to think that Pembrokeshire was a prison, the end of the line, a place to get away from. - I couldn't have been more wrong. For a person like me, this is the place to be. I feel at peace. At last.

It's time to fall asleep for the last time in this house. It's sad saying goodbye but, ultimately it is the birth of a new era not only the death of an old one.

I have nothing to tell you.

This sentence starts in a capital letter and ends in a full stop.

I DON'T NEED TO KNOW!!!!

I don't need to know why the oceans blue or how the flowers grow. I don't kneed to live waiting on someone to forgive me for my sins! I don't need to believe in something that won't save my sanity! I DON'T NEED TO KNOW! I don't want to live in a world where the faces change from day to day. I don't want my life to be, so full of doubt and misery. The years now pass without a trace, it's something I'm learning to embrace. Most of my nights are spent awake, thinking about how I don't want to live this way! I don't know but I have been told that if you don't believe then the devil owns your soul. If this is the truth, then to hell I will go, because I don't need to know!

I am a hamster.

I seem to be nocturnal. I sleep all day, and then am awake all night. I often find myself trying to bust this odd sleep pattern by staying awake all night and all day, and then sleeping at normal time that night.. however.. that isn't working either!!

ARGH. The only other conclusion I have managed to reach is that I am in fact a hamster, not a human.

Well well well, what's all this then?

BLAHHHHHH!

Determined to post everyday, so I shall!

You know that feeling? The one where you've just woken up. You've clearly overslept, you look at your watch expecting the hands to point to about twelve thirty, but in actual fact they point to about half past three? Another day down the drain.
I did this today and it left me thinking, how many days do I have to waste? When people are terminally ill, family members beg and pray for just one more day with their loved one.. Do we really only value time when it's the only thing by which the life and loss of a substantial other hangs? Did we value time as much when we were all at home, and slept all day when we could be doing something much more worthwhile?

Today I feel determined, and enthused to make as much of this life as possible.


Enny.